New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
