Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
