But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
