You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
