Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
