Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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