She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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