I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
