Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
