They should really pass out barf bags in church
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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