69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
