anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
