how can u be prego again
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
