she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
that is very illegal...i love you.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
