the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
