Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Randomize
