The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
