I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
