I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
