Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Randomize
