she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
