life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
