Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
