dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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