My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
