Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
