Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
