I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Randomize
