I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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