i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
