i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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