i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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