me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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