Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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