You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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