I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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