when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
a search helicopter?!
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
