I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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