I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
