All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
