I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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