She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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