he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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