This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
