Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
