a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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