I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
