So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
