Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
