i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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