If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Randomize
