Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
