How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
