why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
