in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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