It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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