She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
