Me. At least after what I've been through.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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