Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
that may or may not have been my penis.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
